so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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