she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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