The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize