he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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