how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
