ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
