he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
they're like a gay fantastic four
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
