She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
