u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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