There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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