Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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