Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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