i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
