I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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