not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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