Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
