plz talk dirty to me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
