I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
