oh god the rape fog is back!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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