I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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