As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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