They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
