East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
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