Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
