I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
