She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize