dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize