Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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