That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
