insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
