Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize