my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
