You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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