I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
