got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
