Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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