Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry takeitindaface hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?

Fav 55 3589 1343
share tweet
(216): View more from Ohio

I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.

Fav 23 7050 1222
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(864): View more from South Carolina

After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!

Fav 17 1904 4270
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.

Fav 21 4028 857
share tweet
(204): View more from Manitoba

between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.

Fav 28 1203 4899
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem

Fav 25 5997 2655
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(209): View more from California

nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw

Fav 74 5390 1697
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.

Fav 1 708 139
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture

Fav 0 19 38
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT