let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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