Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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