I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if only i could text you this smell
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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