he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
