Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I love having hate sex.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
