I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
