This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
