Grow some girl-balls and come out already
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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