I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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