just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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