whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
