Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize