yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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