i just had sex bonerless
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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