he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
And then my night got REAL pukey
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
