Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
