Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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