Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She needs sedatives and a leash
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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