whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
