wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
