im drinking this country out of the recession.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I bet he comes in French.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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