I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just tell him i said nine months
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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