jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize