The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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