I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
