just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
