You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
