My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
