look no pants
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
