I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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