Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
